So, I was listening to “Realize” by Colbie Caillat.
Yeah, I said it.
I never connected the song, or anything. I just like it because it has some killer pop melodies in it. And I am a melody guy. There is a lot other pop music out there that you might not guess that I like, that I like solely based on melody. Not structure, not lyrics, not personal connectivity.
In the song, though, she sings, over and over and over, that “It’s never gonna be that simple”. I think that sums up my entire personal life. In one phrase. Impressive, but frighteningly accurate.
I guess I always assumed that, at some point in high school, or at least my first year of college, I’d find the Right Girl. She’d be crazy for me! Things would happen, the ball would start rolling, very easily. We’d just kind of fall into things, you know?
Maybe it’s because other people make it look so easy. All I know for sure, though, is that it’s never been that easy for me.
I just finished my first year in college, and I’m still crazy for the same girl I’ve been crazy for since freshman year of high school. Our lockers were next to each other for three years in high school, I took her to my Junior Ring Dance, we’ve been friends for a while. But now, I haven’t seen her in a really long time. As I went off to school 1400 miles away in New Orleans, she stayed in-state. On top of all of that, she knows how I feel, and just wants to stay friends.
You’d think, or at least hope, that I would’ve moved on by now. I’ve tried, dammit, I’ve tried. There was a girl at school that I thought, for a while, things would happen with. But that didn’t work out. And there’s another girl at school that’s definitely interested in me, so something could’ve happened there, too.
But it just didn’t feel right. For whatever reason, this girl, 1400 miles away, who does not return my feelings at all, kept me awake many a night.
I just can’t get her out of my head. Even worse, I can’t get her out of my heart.
If only it were that simple. If only.
